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      开一个贴,每天发一个英语笑话让大家学习!

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      发表于 2006-12-13 17:57:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
      <p>So Would I <br/><br/>A fat lady walked into the dress shop. "I'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk. <br/>"So would I," said the tactless clerk.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br/><br/>              </p>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-13 17:57:00 | 显示全部楼层
      我也是 <br/><br/>一个胖女人走进服装店。“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服,”她告诉店员说。 <br/>“我也是。”不太老练的店员说道。 <br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-13 18:05:00 | 显示全部楼层
      A Whole Hour <br/><br/>Mr. Brown arrived for work an hour late. His clothes were torn and tattered. He was banged and bruised, and he had one arm in a sling. His boss was purple with rage. <br/>"It's ten o'clock," screamed the boss, "you were supposed to be here at nine. What happened?" <br/>"I'm sorry," explained Mr. Brown, "I fell out of ten-story window." <br/>"That took you a whole hour?" <br/><br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-13 18:05:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <br/>              整整一小时 <br/><br/>布朗先生上班整整迟到了一小时,他衣衫不整,浑身青紫,一只胳膊上还打着绷带。他的老板怒火冲天。 <br/>“现在已经十点了,”老板咆哮着,“你九点钟就应该来的。到底发生了什么事?” <br/>“对不起,”布朗先生解释道,“我从10层楼的窗户里摔下去了。” <br/>“难道那也要用整整一个小时吗?” <br/>
      发表于 2006-12-14 00:05:00 | 显示全部楼层
      the second one is funny, a boss is a boss
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-14 07:40:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <p class="thread_content">The Clever Dog <br/><br/>A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?" <br/><br/></p><p><br/></p>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-14 07:40:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <br/>              聪明的小狗 <br/><br/>一个小男孩在练习小提琴,他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声,家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后,小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了,说,“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗?” <br/>
      发表于 2006-12-14 11:47:00 | 显示全部楼层
      提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-14 16:25:00 | 显示全部楼层
      It's Me All Right <br/><br/>A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, it's me all right." <br/><br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-14 16:25:00 | 显示全部楼层
      就是我 <br/><br/>一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道:“您能证明您的身份吗?” 这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑,随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿,笑了:“对呀, 这就是我。" <br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-15 10:34:00 | 显示全部楼层
      How to Become Rich? <br/><br/>Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father. <br/>Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel. <br/>Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month. <br/><br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-15 10:34:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <br/>            如何致富? <br/><br/>    弟弟:我看见你亲我姐姐了,如果你不给我五分钱,我就告诉我爸。 <br/>    姐姐的男朋友:不要那样做。给你五分钱。 <br/>    弟弟:我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。 <br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-16 11:57:00 | 显示全部楼层
              Doctor and Patient <br/><br/>Doctor: How many ears and eyes does a cat have? <br/>Patient: Two of each. <br/>Doctor: And how many legs does it have? <br/>Patient: Say, Doctor, haven't you ever seen a cat? <br/><br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-16 11:58:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <br/>          医生和病人 <br/><br/>医生:一只猫有几个耳朵和眼睛? <br/>病人:都是两个。 <br/>医生:那么它有几条腿呢? <br/>病人:我说,医生,难道你从来没有见过猫吗? <br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-18 10:02:00 | 显示全部楼层
       You're facing the wrong way. <br/><br/>In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film." <br/>"In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way." <br/><br/><br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-18 10:02:00 | 显示全部楼层
                  你看错方向了 <br/><br/>剧院里,一位女士回头对后面正在说笑的一群女学生说:“如果你们不介意的话,我想看这场电影。” <br/>“要是那样的话,”其中一个女孩子说,“那您肯定是看错方向了。” <br/>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-18 10:03:00 | 显示全部楼层
      Two Hermits <br/><br/>Two hermits lived in a cave far from civilization. One day a little dog ran past the entrance to the cave. <br/>Six months later one hermit said to the other one, "That was a cute little black dog." <br/>One year later the other hermit said, "It wasn't a black dog; it was a white one." <br/>Eight months later the first hermit jumped up and exclaimed, "If we're going to have this constant bickering, I'm leaving." <br/><br/><p></p>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-18 10:03:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <br/>              两个隐士 <br/><br/>两个隐士住在远离世间的一个山洞里。 一天,一只小狗从他们居住的洞口跑了过去。 <br/>六个月以后,一个隐士对另一个说,“那是一只可爱的小黑狗。” <br/>一年以后,另外那个隐士说:“那不是一只黑狗,它是白色的。” <br/>八个月后,第一个隐士跳起来,嚷道:“如果我们还要进行这种无休止的争论的话,我就离开这儿。” <br/><p><br/></p>
      发表于 2006-12-18 15:33:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <p>嘟嘟可否此帖固顶?</p>
       楼主| 发表于 2006-12-19 10:43:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <p class="thread_content">        Things Have Been Okay. <br/><br/>A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. <br/>Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the <br/>toast is burned." <br/>"You talked! You talked!" shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why&nbsp;&nbsp;has it taken this long." <br/>"Well, up till now," said the boy, "things have been okay."   <br/></p>
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