笑话幽默

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<p>Talking clock </p><p>While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" <br/><br/>　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" </p>

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What Is a Traitor？ <br/><br/>Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” <br/><br/>Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．” <br/><br/>Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” <br/><br/>Father：“A convert，my son．”<td></td><tr></tr><tbody></tbody><table></table><td></td><tr></tr><tbody></tbody><table></table>

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-5-12 14:45:59编辑过]

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A Girl Just Like Mother <br/><br/>No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice． <br/><br/>“Find a girl just like your mother—then she\'s bound to like her． <br/><br/>So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser： <br/><br/>“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her” <br/><br/>“So，”asked the friend，“what happened？” <br/><br/>“Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！”

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At a deparemant store a man getting on an escalator tripped and fell down the moving stairs.<br/>Half-way down he collided with a woman and togther they rolled to the botom.Reaching the main floor ,the dazed woman continued to sit on the man\'s chest .He said:<br/>"Fogive me, madam,but this is as far as I can go."<!--Element not supported - Type: 8 Name: #comment--><br/>

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The Mean Man's Party <br/>The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." <br/>　　"Why use my elbow and foot?" <br/>　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

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A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her<br/>printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under <br/>Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the <br/>door. But that\'s a good point. The man sitting in the <br/>cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working <br/>fine." <br/>

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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let\'s press the control and escape <br/>keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the<br/>middle of the screen. Now type the letter \'P\' to bring up<br/>the Program Manager."<br/>Customer: "I don\'t have a \'P\'."<br/>Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."<br/>Customer: "What do you mean?"<br/>Tech Support: "\'P\' on your keyboard, Bob."<br/>Customer: "I\'m not going to do that!"

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Overheard in a computer shop:<br/>Customer: "I\'d like a mouse mat, please."<br/>Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we\'ve got a large variety."<br/>Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"<br/>

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I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the<br/>document back to the sender when I was finished with it, <br/>because he needed to keep it.<br/>

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Customer in computer shop: "Can you copy the Internet onto <br/>this disk for me?"<br/>

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Customer: "So that\'ll get me connected to the Internet,<br/>right?"<br/>Tech Support: "Yeah."<br/>Customer: "And that\'s the latest version of the Internet,<br/>right?"<br/>Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

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Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File <br/>Manager icon."<br/>Customer: "That\'s why I hate this Windows - because of<br/>the icons - I\'m a Protestant, and I don\'t believe in icons."<br/>Tech Support: "Well, that\'s just an industry term sir.<br/>I don\'t believe it was meant to-"<br/>Customer: "I don\'t care about any \'Industry Terms\'.<br/>I don\'t believe in icons."<br/>Tech Support: "Well...why don\'t you click on the \'<br/>little picture\' of filing cabinet...is \'little picture\' OK?"<br/>Customer: [click]

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Customer: "My computer crashed!"<br/>Tech Support: "It crashed?"<br/>Customer: "Yeah, it won\'t let me play my game."<br/>Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."<br/>Customer: "No, it didn\'t crash - it crashed."<br/>Tech Support: "Huh?"<br/>Customer: "I crashed my game. That\'s what I said before.<br/>I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn\'t work."<br/>Tech Support: "Click on \'File,\' then \'New Game.\'"<br/>Customer: [pause] "Wow! How\'d you learn how to do that?"<br/>

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Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer was <br/>having problems: the bottom half of her printed sheets were<br/>coming out blurry. It seemed strange that the printer was <br/>smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the <br/>basics, then went over and printed out a test sheet. <br/>It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent <br/>a job to the printer. As the paper started coming out, she<br/>yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until <br/>the paper came out on its own. Problem solved.<br/>

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I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard\'s Deskjet<br/>division for about a month when I had a customer call with<br/>a problem I just couldn\'t solve. She could not print yellow.<br/>All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled <br/>me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow.<br/>For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but <br/>green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine<br/>except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges.<br/>I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing<br/>worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new<br/>ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about<br/>to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair<br/>when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of <br/>white paper instead of this yellow paper?"<br/>

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And another user was all confused about why the cursor always<br/>moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the <br/>mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult<br/>to depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to <br/>rotate the mouse so the tail pointed away from her.<br/>

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This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied"<br/>message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing<br/>his username and password in capital letters. Tech Support:<br/>"OK, let\'s try once more, but use lower case letters."<br/>Customer: "Ooh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."<br/>

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roast pig <br/>A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

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