开一个贴，每天发一个英语笑话让大家学习！

china8boy

<br/>　　　　　　　　　　　　一切都很好。 <br/><br/>一对年轻的夫妇对于他们四岁的儿子仍然不会说话这件事非常着急。他们带他去看专家，但是医生们找不出任何不正常的地方。 <br/>之后有一天早上，这个男孩突然说道：“妈妈，面包拷糊了。” <br/>“你说话了！你说话了！”他的妈妈嚷道。“我真高兴！但是为什么要我们等这么长的时间呢？” <br/>“嗯，直到现在，”男孩说，“每件事都很正常啊。” <br/><p><br/></p>

china8boy

　　 　　　　　I'd show him my room. <br/><br/>Four-year old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm. <br/>"Why," demanded his mother, "are you playing with that worm?" <br/>"We were playing outside," replied the boy, "and I thought I'd <br/>show him my room." <br/>

china8boy

<br/>　　　　　　　　　　我应该让它看看我的房间。 <br/><br/>一天四岁的汤米拿了条蚯蚓进屋。 <br/>“什么，”他的妈妈惊讶的说：“你在和那条蚯蚓玩吗？” <br/>“我们在外面玩儿来着，”汤米回答：“所以我想我应该领他到我的房间看看。” <br/>

china8boy

<p class="thread_content">He Wanted Two Balloons. <br/><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp; <br/>The boy's clothing shop was giving away balloons to customers' <br/>children. One little fellow asked if he might have two. <br/>"Sorry," the clerk said,"but we give only one balloon to each child. Do you have a brother at home?" <br/>The youngster was always truthful , but he wanted another balloon&nbsp;&nbsp;badly. "No." he replied regretfully,"but my sister does, and I'd like one for him." 　 <br/><br/>　　　　　　　　　　</p>

china8boy

　　他想要两只气球。 <br/><br/>儿童服装店正在向顾客的孩子们赠送气球。其中一个小男孩问是否能够得到两只气球。 <br/>“对不起，”售货员说，“我们只赠给每个孩子一只气球，你家里有弟弟吗？” <br/>小家伙一贯很诚实，可他特别想再要一只气球。“没有”，他遗憾地说，“可我姐姐有个弟弟，我想给他要一只。” <br/>

china8boy

Diagnosis. <br/>&nbsp;&nbsp; <br/>A man walks into a Doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. <br/>"What's the matter with me, Doc?" he asked. <br/>"You're not eating properly!" replied the Doctor. 　 <br/>

china8boy

<br/>　　　　　　　　　　　　医生的诊断 <br/><br/>一男子走进医生的办公室。只见他鼻子里有片黄瓜，左耳朵里有点儿胡萝卜，右耳朵里有些香蕉。 <br/>“医生，我怎么了（得了什么病）？”他问道。 <br/>“你吃东西的方式不正确。”医生回答。 <br/>

china8boy

　Apples and Oranges <br/><br/><br/>Big brother: All right, I'll help you with your homework. Now, if you had five apples and I took one away, how many would <br/>you have? <br/>Little sister: I don't know. In my class we do arithmetic with oranges.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br/>

china8boy

<br/>　　　　　　　　　　苹果和桔子 <br/><br/>哥哥：好吧，我帮你做你的作业。现在，如果你有五个苹果，我拿走了一个，你还剩几个？ <br/>妹妹：我不知道。我们班里只用桔子做算术题。 <br/>

china8boy

My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow. <br/><br/>　　A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. <br/><br/>　　　"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson. <br/><br/>　　　"Makes no difference, "replied customer. <br/><br/>　　　"What color?" asked the clerk. <br/><br/>　　　"Any," he responded. <br/><br/>　　　"Size?" <br/><br/>　　　"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly <br/><br/>　　exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them." <br/><br/>　　<br/>

china8boy

反正我太太明天会来换的。 <br/><br/>　　　 一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。 <br/><br/>　　　“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 <br/><br/>　　　“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 <br/><br/>　　　“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。 <br/><br/>　　　“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 <br/><br/>　　　“号码呢？” <br/><br/>　　　“您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

china8boy

My half was at the bottom of the <br/>　　　　　　　　　 bottle. <br/><br/>Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods. They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty. <br/>"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of that was mine!" <br/>"I know," said Tommy, "but I was thirsty, and as my half was at the bottom of the bottle I had to drink through yours to get to it." 　 <br/>

china8boy

<br/>　　　　　　　　　　我的那半儿在瓶子的下面。 　 <br/><br/>吉米和汤米骑自行车去森林里野餐。他们带了一瓶柠檬水。在汤米准备食物的当儿，吉米去探险。当他回来后，发现瓶子空了。 <br/>“嗨！”他生气得嚷，“这水有一半是我的！” <br/>“我知道，”汤米说，“但是我非常渴，而且我的那一半在下面，所以我只好先把你的那半喝了才能喝到我的那一半呀。” <br/>

china8boy

　　Promise or Threat? <br/><br/>"My friend, I say I had some trouble." A man said to his friend, " yesterday I had words with my wife. After that she punched the door and rushed out angrily with the word that she would live with her mother. Please help me. Is this a promise or a threat?" <br/>"Do you think there are differences between the two?" his friend asked. <br/>"Yes, quite a lor. If it is a promise, that means that my wife is sure to be with her mother, and if a threat, that my mother-in-law will move and live with us." 　 <br/><br/><br/>　　　　　　　　　　

china8boy

许诺还是威胁？ 　 <br/><br/>“听我说，朋友，我遇上麻烦了。”一个男人对他的朋友说，“昨天我和妻子吵了一架，他她怒气冲冲地摔门走了，并声明说她要和她母亲住在一起。你替我想想，这是许诺，还是威胁呢？” <br/>“这两者有什么区别吗？”朋友问。 <br/>“不，区别太大了。如果它是承诺的话，那就是说它肯定是要和她妈妈一起住；要是威胁呢，那就意味着我岳母要搬到我家来住。” <br/>

china8boy

<div align="center">Large Uniforms</div><br/><br/>During our first three days at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, we were herded from place to place for haircuts, shots and uniforms. Back in our barracks, the drill instructor told us to put on our uniforms and fall out in front of the building. Some of the uniforms, however, were extremely large. As we filed outside, the sergeant stood by the door with his assistant. "We have to take some of these people back for refitting," he said. "That last man took two steps before his uniform moved." <br/><br/>

china8boy

<p>Blind Date <br/><br/><br/>After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" </p><p></p>

china8boy

<p>相亲 <br/><br/>和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地！”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！” <br/></p><p><br/></p>

china8boy

&nbsp;<br/><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!&nbsp;<br/><br/>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

china8boy

四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"