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      [灌水]飞行幽默

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      发表于 2006-8-4 13:25:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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      发表于 2006-8-4 13:28:00 | 显示全部楼层
      幽默?是不是难过的意思呀?
      发表于 2006-8-5 08:17:00 | 显示全部楼层
      <p>RULES OF THE AIR<br/>飞行的规则</p><p>1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.</p><p>每个起飞是自愿的, 每个降落是强迫的。</p><p>2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.</p><p>当你把驾驶杆杆前推,房子变大了;当你把驾驶杆向后拉,房子变小了;但当你拉着不放,房子又要变大了。</p><p>3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.</p><p>飞行不是危险的,撞机才是危险的!</p><p>4.There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old bold pilots.</p><p>有老飞行员,也有勇敢的飞行员。但是,没有勇敢的老飞行员。</p><p>5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.</p><p>你唯一会嫌汽油太多的时候,就是着了火的时候。</p><p>6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.</p><p>螺旋浆其实只是一个令飞行员凉快的大风扇,如果它停了,实际上你会看到飞行员开始冒汗了。</p><p>7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.</p><p>当你觉得疑惑时,请保持高度,因为没有人跟天空相撞过</p><p>8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.</p><p>一次“好” 的降落,就是说你可以走出机舱;一次“极好” 的降落,就是说这架飞机可以再用。</p><p>9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.</p><p>从别人的错误中学习,因为你自己不能活那么久来犯所有错误。</p><p>10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.</p><p>当你要使用全功率才能把飞机滑进停机坪,你就知道刚才降落时, 忘记了放下起落架</p><p>11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.</p><p>生存的机会是跟着陆角度是成反比例的。大的着陆角度,小的生存机会,反之亦然。</p><p>12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.</p><p>永远不要让飞机带你到你的大脑5分钟前没有去过的地方。</p><p>13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.</p><p>Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.</p><p>保持在云外飞行。因为云里可能有另一架相反方向的飞机。</p><p>据可靠消息报告,目前所知山脉不可能藏在云外。</p><p>14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.</p><p>要尽量保持着陆数目与起飞数目相等。</p><p>15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.</p><p>做一个好的着陆有三条简单的原则,但不幸的是没人知道其具体内容。</p><p>16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.</p><p>开始时你有两个口袋,运气袋装得满满的,经验袋是空空的。关键就在于,要在运气袋变空之前,把经验袋装得满满的。</p><p>17. Helicopters can't fly, they're just so ugly the earth repels them.</p><p>直升机不能飞的,只是它们太丑了,连地球也排斥它们。</p><p>18. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.</p><p>正在进行的由速度数百公里的铝和速度零公里的大地制成的物体之间的战争中,大地还没有失败。</p><p>19. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.</p><p>对于飞行员来说,最没用的三件事:在你上面的高度、在你错过的跑道,以及刚过去的0.1秒。</p><p>20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.</p><p>好的判断来自经验。很不幸,经验通常来自坏的判断。</p><p>21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.</p><p>尽可能保持飞机的空速管朝前,这总是一个好主意。</p><p>22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.</p><p>多观察地面,总会有一些你丢掉的东西的。</p><p>23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.</p><p>记住,重力不仅仅是一个好的概念。它是法律,而且不会废除。  </p><p><br/>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>空地勤对话启示录</p><p>每次飞行后,飞行员都会留笔记给维修人员,报告机上要修理的地方。以下是飞行员的纪录和维修人员修理后的回答。</p><p>(P = the Problem logged by the pilot.)</p><p>飞行员的纪录</p><p>(S = the Solution and action taken by the engineers or ground crew.)</p><p>维修人员的解决方案</p><p>(1)P:Left inside tire almost needs replacement.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Almost replaced left inside tire.</p><p>  左内机轮差不多需要更换了。</p><p>  左内机轮差不多更换了。</p><p>(2)P:Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.</p><p>   S:Auto land not installed on this aircraft.</p><p>   试飞成功,但自动降落不太正常。</p><p>   这架飞机没有安装自动降落系统。</p><p>(3)P:# 2 engine seeping fluid.</p><p>   S:# 2 engine seepage is normal - # 1 engine lack normal seepage.</p><p>   2号发动机漏出液体。</p><p>   2号发动机漏出液体是正常的,一号发动机缺乏正常渗漏。</p><p>(4)P:Something loose in cockpit.</p><p>   S:Something tightened in cockpit.</p><p>   座舱内有些东西松了。</p><p>   座舱内有些东西上紧了。</p><p>(5)P:Evidence of leak on right landing gear.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Evidence removed.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 右起落架机轮有漏气迹象。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 迹象已被清除。</p><p>(6)P:DME volume unbelievably loud.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Volume set to more believable level.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; DME声音效声大得不可想象!</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 音量被调至可以想象的程度。</p><p>(7)P:Dead bugs on windshield.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Live bugs on back-order.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 风挡上有死昆虫。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 已经定购活的昆虫。</p><p>(8)P: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Fresh seat cushion on order.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 13F座椅垫有腐烂的气味。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 已定购新鲜椅垫。</p><p>(9)P:Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 自动驾驶仪在高度保持模式令飞机每分钟自动下降200尺。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 在地上不能重演此错误。</p><p>(10)P:IFF inoperative.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; IFF不起作用。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; IFF在关闭时是不会起作用的。</p><p>(11)P:Friction locks cause throttle lever to stick.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:That's what they're there for.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 摩擦锁导致油门杆不能移动。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 摩擦锁本来就是为此而设的。</p><p>(12)P:Number 3 engine missing.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Engine found on right wing after brief search.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 3号发动机不见了。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 在右翼附近简单的搜寻后,找到发动机。</p><p>(13)P: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 当燃油不平衡达到500磅时,自动驾驶仪试图沉下一侧机翼。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 飞行手册限制最大燃油不平衡为300磅。</p><p>(14)P: Pilot's clock inoperative.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Wound clock.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 飞行员的时钟不工作。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 敲击时钟。</p><p>(15)P:Aircraft handles funny.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 飞机操控有些奇怪(好笑)。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 已经向飞机警告:“认真点”,现在已经正经了。</p><p>(16)P:Suspected crack in windscreen.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Suspect you're right.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 我怀疑风挡玻璃有裂纹。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 我怀疑你是正确的。</p><p>(17)P:Mouse in cockpit.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Cat installed.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 驾驶舱有老鼠。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 猫已安装。</p><p>(18)P: 3 roaches in cabin.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 客舱有3只蟑螂。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 一只蟑螂被打死,一只受伤,一只逃跑。</p><p>(19)P: Turn &amp; slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 在转弯过程中,转弯侧滑仪小球保持在中间不动。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 恭喜你,你刚刚做了你第一个协调转弯。</p><p>(20)P: #2 ADF needle runs wild.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 2号ADF指针疯狂的乱跑(摆动)。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 抓住并驯服2号ADF指针。</p><p>(21)P:Target Radar hums.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S:Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words(lyrics).</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 雷达发出嗡嗡声。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 已新设定雷达为人声(抒情诗)。</p><p>(22)P: Funny sounds from behind instrument panel.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Installed non-funny sounds.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 仪表板后面发出好笑的声音。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 重新安装了不好笑的声音。</p><p>(23)P: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 2号发动机发出不熟悉的噪音。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 发动机运转了4个小时,噪音现在熟悉了。</p><p>(24)P: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 2号发动机发出噪音。听起来象有人拿小榔头敲。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 把小榔头从2号发动机那个人手里拿走。</p><p>(25)P: Whining sound heard on #2 engine shutdown.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Pilot removed from aircraft.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 2号发动机关车时发出呜呜声(哭诉、牢骚)。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 飞行员被开除。</p><p>(26)P: Flight attendant cold at altitude.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Ground checks OK.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 空中感到冷。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 地面检查良好。</p><p>(27)P: Weather radar went ape!</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 气象雷达走进一只猿猴(失去控制)!</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 打开雷达,放出猿猴,清理完毕。</p><p>(28)P: Indication of moisture in intake;Numerous water leaks from fuselage.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; S: That's because you ditched in the sea again.</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 进气道有水汽;飞机漏进许多水。</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp; 那是因为你又在海上迫降了。 </p>
      发表于 2006-8-8 08:51:00 | 显示全部楼层
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